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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 649
EAN num: 9780786887514
ISBN number: 0786887516
Label: Hyperion
Manufacturer: Hyperion
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 400
Printing Date: March 17, 2004
Publishing house: Hyperion
Release Date: March 17, 2004
Sale Popularity Level: 53060
Studio: Hyperion
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Product Description:
Now in paperback -- a groundbreaking guide that tells parents how to help their children at the time of the breakup and in the many years that follow within the post-divorce and remarried family -- from the New York Times bestselling author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce.
In the tradition of the best parenting guidebooks comes a new work by the renowned child psychologist Judith Wallerstein on a subject that vexes millions of American moms and dads: How can you genuinely protect your children during and after divorce? Wallerstein answers this important question based on 30 years of in-depth interviews with children of divorce and their parents.
Divorce is not a single event but a lifelong trajectory of changed circumstances that demand a different kind of parenting than we have ever known. In What About the Kids? Wallerstein shows parents how to create a new family with compassion and wisdom. It covers issues that arise at the time of divorce as well as suggestions for talking to your children months and years after the event.
Eminent psychologist Judith S. Wallerstein shares her unique insight and advice in What About the Kids? -- the very first comprehensive guide to easing the impact of divorce on your children -- including:
-- The best and worst ages for children to experience their parents' divorce
-- Right and wrong ways to explain divorce to your children
-- Choosing a custody arrangement that's best for your child
-- How to involve the grandparents-a major resource
-- Getting the children on your side when you form new relationships
-- The positive effects of divorce on children (believe it or not)
-- How divorce can actually make you a better parent
-- Raising children who grow up able to form lasting relationships
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Rated by buyers 
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Excellent guide for parents. The book gives a series of practical advice. It is honest and realistic.
Rated by buyers -
I read this book four years ago, before my divorce. I credit the book with giving me a fairly level head throughout the entire separation/divorce process. The focus on how you and your ex will be joined at the hip for the rest of your lives for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc. coupled with the authors' pragmatic advice made me realize what a long haul it was - I had to just get over all the emotional baggage and look forward to a life as a different kind of family, but a family nonetheless.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is having trouble in his/her marriage. My ex-husband was also willing to read it, which helped a lot. I really think this book helped me and my ex-husband figure out how to co-parent in a friendly, non-threatening way.
Rated by buyers -
Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee choose to cover a much wider timeline within the life of the divorcing family than most divorce books have traditionally done. And, unlike other divorce books that serve up a lot of reassuring words, but not a lot of day-to-day strategies for dealing with the fallout of marital breakdown when you're doing frontline duty in the parenting trenches, What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During and After Divorce spells out the very messages that kids need to hear at each stage of the marital breakdown and at each point in their own development in order to feel safe and secure.
Wallerstein and Blakeslee have adopted the same warm and highly personal style that so engaged the readers of their previous books (most notably The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts). They have a real knack for zeroing in on the emotions that a parent is likely to be experiencing at any given point on the sometimes rocky path between marriage and divorce. In fact, they use the journey motif in the introduction of the book when they talk about how marital breakdown intensifies the challenges of parenting: "Parenting is always a hazardous undertaking. Much of the time it's like climbing a mountain trail that disappears and reappears, making you wonder if you're still headed for the top or if you're stranded on a cliff. But parenting in a divorced or remarried family is harder still -- it's like climbing that same trail in a blizzard, blinded by emotions and events out of your control. You have no clear path, no idea of where you're going. You may not even realize that you're lost."
If it's starting to sound like getting a divorce is life-long work, you've got that right, insists Wallerstein: "Since you have children, you're yoked until they're grown. Even then, you have to deal with graduations, weddings, baptisms, bar mitzvahs, and all the other rituals of family life....Some parts of marriage really do endure until death do you part."
Rated by buyers -
This book is a must read if you are going through a divorce. I only wish I had found it sooner in the process. Ms. Wallerstein uses her years of experience and training to guide parents through common reactions of children by their age. Every therapist working with children of divorce should read this and recommend this to the parents for the sake of the kids.
Rated by buyers 
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Judith Wallerstein has been amicus curiae (a friend of the court) in many custody related cases but she is certainly no friend of children who would like to have both parents in their lives.
Her research, which was presented in a pivotal custody case in California (In re: Marriage of Burgess), was very influential in the court's decision. That decision has been widely criticized and has led to countless children in the state growing up without one of their parents, usually the father. In recent amicus curiae briefs filed by Wallerstein she relies heavily on anecdotal accounts of cases in which she played no part and disregards substantial amounts of literature that highlight the harmful impact of the loss of important relationships to a child and shows that children do much better with two loving, competant parents. She has even contridicted herself on positions that she originally took in the Burgess case.
Her research has been widely criticized in recent years and this book will likely be no exception.
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