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Type of bind: Kindle Edition
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.89
Format: Kindle Book
Label: Hyperion
Manufacturer: Hyperion
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 400
Printing Date: April 09, 2003
Publishing house: Hyperion
Release Date: April 09, 2003
Sale Popularity Level: 22081
Studio: Hyperion
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Product Description:
The ten chapters in WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? give detailed scenarios and their alternatives, likely outcomes and surprises. They include: 1) The Break Up: This chapter focuses on the adult in crisis. 2) What To Tell the Children: These words will be remembered for a lifetime-how to get them right. 3) The First Year: Maximum turmoil. Setting new routines and maintaining a connection with each child. 4) The Dust Settles: The issues that come up in the very first decade after divorce. 5) Co-Parenting: How to be good parents while living separate lives. 6) Teens in the Post-Divorce Family: Troublesome behavior, morality on trial, your child-s future relationships and much more. 7) The Young Adult of Divorce: Spouses and negotiations for college and living expenses, abandonment issues. 8) Long Term Changes in Parent/Child Relationships: The members of divorced and remarried families can be both closer and more conflicted than in intact families-what the issues are and how to address them. 9) Second Marriages: Preparing a child for new relationships-what are the children most afraid of? How to be a step parent; why second marriages succeed or fail. 10) Bridging the Generations: Adult children of divorce and how they relate to their parents-the two way street.
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Rated by buyers 
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Excellent guide for parents. The book gives a series of practical advice. It is honest and realistic.
Rated by buyers -
I read this book four years ago, before my divorce. I credit the book with giving me a fairly level head throughout the entire separation/divorce process. The focus on how you and your ex will be joined at the hip for the rest of your lives for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc. coupled with the authors' pragmatic advice made me realize what a long haul it was - I had to just get over all the emotional baggage and look forward to a life as a different kind of family, but a family nonetheless.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is having trouble in his/her marriage. My ex-husband was also willing to read it, which helped a lot. I really think this book helped me and my ex-husband figure out how to co-parent in a friendly, non-threatening way.
Rated by buyers -
Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee choose to cover a much wider timeline within the life of the divorcing family than most divorce books have traditionally done. And, unlike other divorce books that serve up a lot of reassuring words, but not a lot of day-to-day strategies for dealing with the fallout of marital breakdown when you're doing frontline duty in the parenting trenches, What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During and After Divorce spells out the very messages that kids need to hear at each stage of the marital breakdown and at each point in their own development in order to feel safe and secure.
Wallerstein and Blakeslee have adopted the same warm and highly personal style that so engaged the readers of their previous books (most notably The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts). They have a real knack for zeroing in on the emotions that a parent is likely to be experiencing at any given point on the sometimes rocky path between marriage and divorce. In fact, they use the journey motif in the introduction of the book when they talk about how marital breakdown intensifies the challenges of parenting: "Parenting is always a hazardous undertaking. Much of the time it's like climbing a mountain trail that disappears and reappears, making you wonder if you're still headed for the top or if you're stranded on a cliff. But parenting in a divorced or remarried family is harder still -- it's like climbing that same trail in a blizzard, blinded by emotions and events out of your control. You have no clear path, no idea of where you're going. You may not even realize that you're lost."
If it's starting to sound like getting a divorce is life-long work, you've got that right, insists Wallerstein: "Since you have children, you're yoked until they're grown. Even then, you have to deal with graduations, weddings, baptisms, bar mitzvahs, and all the other rituals of family life....Some parts of marriage really do endure until death do you part."
Rated by buyers -
This book is a must read if you are going through a divorce. I only wish I had found it sooner in the process. Ms. Wallerstein uses her years of experience and training to guide parents through common reactions of children by their age. Every therapist working with children of divorce should read this and recommend this to the parents for the sake of the kids.
Rated by buyers 
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Judith Wallerstein has been amicus curiae (a friend of the court) in many custody related cases but she is certainly no friend of children who would like to have both parents in their lives.
Her research, which was presented in a pivotal custody case in California (In re: Marriage of Burgess), was very influential in the court's decision. That decision has been widely criticized and has led to countless children in the state growing up without one of their parents, usually the father. In recent amicus curiae briefs filed by Wallerstein she relies heavily on anecdotal accounts of cases in which she played no part and disregards substantial amounts of literature that highlight the harmful impact of the loss of important relationships to a child and shows that children do much better with two loving, competant parents. She has even contridicted herself on positions that she originally took in the Burgess case.
Her research has been widely criticized in recent years and this book will likely be no exception.
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