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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.81
EAN num: 9780446672481
ISBN number: 0446672483
Label: Grand Central Publishing
Manufacturer: Grand Central Publishing
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 368
Printing Date: October 01, 1996
Publishing house: Grand Central Publishing
Sale Popularity Level: 102767
Studio: Grand Central Publishing
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Editor's Notes and Comments:
Product Description:
Charts the four general types of marriage--the romantic, the rescue, the companionate, and the traditional--and the nine tasks essential to forging a successful one, based on intimate interviews with fifty couples who consider themselves happy. Reprint.
Amazon.com Review:
Inspired by the hope that the experience of satisfied husbands and wives might provide useful lessons to others, Wallerstein, a clinical psychologist and specialist on divorce, and Sandra Blakeslee, who writes frequently for The New York Times, interviewed 50 predominantly middle-class, northern California couples who had been married nine years or more and had at least one child. These strong marriages flourish, they argue, because every partner confronted a series of psychological tasks including separating emotionally from the family of childhood, carving out his or her autonomy and creating an environment where anger and conflict could be safely vented. The couples reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.
User popularity level:
Rated by buyers 
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This book is a more positive approach to a good marriage rather than looking at all the problems in a marriage. It helps us to notice the good things in a marriage no matter how small. And many times, we don't see or remember the little things that make a marriage work.
Rated by buyers 
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...the authors endeavor to evaluate what makes a marriage last by interviewing couples...or at least they CLAIMED they interviewed these couples...frankly, I have to wonder if they simply didn't make up the couples as well as the interviews...there seems to be little overlap in characteristics of the relationships...also, the interviewee responses strike me as quite contrived and really don't sound very authentic...the responses of the men, in particular, sound more like something a woman would IMAGINE a man saying...sorry but I just don't think there is much to be gained from this book.
Rated by buyers 
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Yes, the book is a good one, even flows and transitions between ideas very nicely. only problem that i have with the book... is that quite a bit of the information should already be known by all.
Rated by buyers -
I have read 10-15 books relating to marriage preparation and making sure one is ready to pick and BE a good spouse. This was by far the best. The author reassured me that people who grew up with unhappy childhoods & unhappy parents have as good a chance at a happy marriage as others. It also made me aware of many issues these couples had that I had not considered. This book prompted me to think about what I want from my future husband as a type of marriage, as an emotional partner, as a parental partner etc. MUST READ! I also highly recommend "What you Need to know before you fall in Love" as a good gut check of what is normal in a relationship and what isn't, what areas you need to check on (do you have a meeting of the minds spiritually, financially, intellectually etc), and it has a great chapter on warning signs (are you dating this person to impress your boss, annoy your parents, or get revenge on an ex?). I highly recommend Harville Hendrix's Book "How to Find the Love you Want" for a more in depth look at how our childhood affects our need for love and influences our search for the source of that love.
Rated by buyers -
What caught my eye about this ingrossing and captivating book began on page 20 where the author is describing a variety of couples she has interviewed for her study and that while each of them is unique and in some place 180 opposite is that "I realized then that each of these marriages was a different world, a sovereign country unto itself. Rather than a single archetype of happy marriage, I found many different kinds. Like a richly detailed tapestry, each relationship was woven from strands of love, friendship, sexual fulfillment, nurture, protection, emotional security, economic responsibility, and co-parenting. But the patterns in the marital weave varied, and gradually I began to see several distinctive types. I learned that at the heart of any good marriage is a core relationship created out of the conscious and unconcisous fit of the partners needs and wishes. This core reflects what each partner wants and expects from the other -- expectations influenced by relationships that begin in infancy, childhood, and adolescence but are ultimately shaped within marriage", or what the author and I agree are core loves, likes and can live with.
And I simply loved reading about all the different couples, varied challenges and successes and failures that didn't make the marriages fall a part. Simply a wonderful book.
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